Developmental Responses

(Used with permission from "Children Grieve, Too," a Centering Corporation resource.) 

AGES 6 TO 9

Children at this developmental level are just starting to understand what it means to die. They will begin, usually somewhere around age 7 or 8, to learn that death is permanent. They have seen death on TV, in video games and in books and they may have an overestimated sense of their own power. Children at this age often become fearful that someone else will die, too. They become more aware of their emotions, at times worrying that if they display sadness or anger, others will become sad or angry as well. Children ask lots of questions and may not know what to say or what to do.

Helpful Hints:

Ask the child what he/she understands already

Answer questions

Be honest. Use words such as dead and died rather than lost, went to sleep or passed away

Explain what feelings they may have, what they may look like or feel like

Assure the child that nothing she/he thought or did caused the person to die

Talk about any fears that she/he has

Involve the child as much as possible in funeral planning, letting the child know what will happen and when

Give extra cuddles and hugs as needed

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